I have realised that my discomfort zone is probably quite unusual. My childhood involved moving around the world every few years and this, formed the biggest part of who I am. My sense of adventure, adaptability and change mind set were formed.
My early 20’s were spent travelling around Europe exploring, making art and films until I moved to Scotland spent a year sailing and learning to snowboard. I then joined the Third Sector where I moved around as I moved up the organisation I was with. I had five year plans that I reworked every two to three years. I achieved them all.
In 2015, I had a baby, lost my job and had to retrain. Battled postnatal depression and got married. Pretty much in that order. I entered my danger zone. Too much changed at once and I think the biggest destabiliser was having to change my career path, retrain and have since been on a steep learning curve. Whereas once, I would have thrived, I struggled with this, lost confidence and developed impostor syndrome. I tried to mitigate this by doing courses but have found that they only made me feel more disempowered.
Benjamin Hardy says that in order for your future to be bigger than your past you must move beyond it. You must stop living in your past! Let it go. Let it be what it was – the good and the bad. Take everything you’ve learned from it. But don’t be defined by it. I totally agree but sometimes it can feel bigger than us, overwhelming and a barrier to returning to your true self.
We live in a world of extroverts (Susan Cain – Quiet Time) where whoever shouts the loudest, whomever is the busiest, is revered as successful. This can add to the overwhelm. So I am choosing to stay in my discomfort zone, choosing a simple life with not many plans (maybe a few goals), trying to in one place, staying in the same job and seeing where this takes me. I won’t lie it is uncomfortable, at times so much, I feel the need for flight (especially in this political climate). I remind myself I choose this and there is a reason. Someone once said to me a tree cannot flourish if it does not lay roots somewhere. So I am working on this. I am working on myself.